think-quilts

Fridays are quite busy at the IV section of the CancerCC. Within 20 minutes, 4 different people worked on my IV, and only one introcuded herself by name. t, it turned into 3.5 hours quickly gone by due the nice company of my husband and a visit from friend.

 - And because of my very lucky status, I got something accomplished: I wrote several letters to very dear friends, and I finished a small quilt. Now, I found a leftover Xmas quilt project under piled up stuff on my desk. I’m actually finishing another UFO

 

Tags: Breast Cancer

… for 3 more days. Friday, it’ll start allover. Second round of chemo.

So, I decided to seize the moment and go tomorrow for the NW Flower & Garden Show. Let’s see how long I’m able to keep up, – I’m still getting tired easily.

Tags: Breast Cancer

 …has arrived. It’s day 12 after the first chemo treatment, and my hair is falling out very sudden and rapidly. I suppose, from now on I’ll be bald for several months. Of course, as I expected, I’ll be without hair for my husbands and my own birthday.

On the bright side, no bad-hair-days anymore. Take a shower, dry it off with a towel, how easy is that.
And I can still go outside without freezing my head off, because a very nice friend made me a great hat.

.

Funny, – some 20 years ago, I sculpted my own head in clay, with all measurements taken with weird instruments directly off my real head, but I didn’t get to make the hair in time. The clay dried up too fast. It bothered me for so many years, I was almost about to make a wig for it. – I never thought, I’d be able to check one-to-one whether I did it all right 

Tags: Breast Cancer

… came for 10 long hours. The shots I got to raise more white blood cells caused, – intentionally- massive cell production in my bones, mostly in the pelvis and lower back. I’ve been warned about possible pain, but this was a lot of pain. Even a heavy pain killer barely covered the worst. The labor pain, while giving birth to each of my daughers (naturally, without any sedation), was compared to this “child’s play”.

Now, after this really bad night, the last shot was canceled and more blood work ordered. I wonder if it was too much, too fast, maybe it’s a matter of dosage. If I’d need more of this, most likely after the next cycles, I’ll have to have more pain killer. Maybe it’s just my stupid body which reacts so strong, I don’t know.

Tags: Breast Cancer

…are plentyful. Now, as also expected, the day 5 wasn’t very good, but 6 is even worse. I’m experienceing lots of trouble with my night sleep, I’ feel like not rested at all. This leaves my back, muscles, bones and mind extremly tired.
Despite the anti-nausea drugs, everything in my abdomen is in brutal uproar. But the worst of all is the extreme heartburn. It’s like drinking pure acid. My tastebuds are gone, everything is as tasty as cardboard, especially all sour notes in fruit and vegies. I had a sip on red wine, gone too. It’s actually a really weird taste, it doesn’t even remind me faintly of wine. So – no desire to have a glass, whatsoever.
Today’s lab result clearly tells my white blood cell count is getting bad, so for the rest of the week, I’m getting shots to boost the production of white blood cells, without, I’m in danger for infections.

Yesterday, I still managed to be up for as long to sew me one pair of PJ bottoms, -  leopard print! – Woah! Everybody needs a highlight.

Tags: Breast Cancer

…and it wasn’t as bad as expected. The drug cocktail comes with a combination of anti-nausea drugs, thank you chemists! It’s still not too easy to ignore my uneasy stomach and get an appetite for foods. Can’t imagine without these drugs, that must have been horrible in earlier days. I’m just thinking on a day-by-day basis. With one exeption, when will it be over. This was # one, 3 more rounds to go.

The 4th or 5th day is predicted to be the worst on the side effects. Of course, it’s going to hit the weekend.
We’ll see, I’ll be back.

Besides, I’m still working on Raw Emotions I, and thinking about Raw Emotions II. I truly enjoy the small managable format of 12×12″. Lots of possiblilities without the overwelming task of size and time commitment.

Tags: Breast Cancer

…and I’ll start chemo therapy. Not sure how it’ll impact me.

But before, the drain tube from the last surgery has to be removed, what a goal it that?!

Learning
small steps find their way, too
make a difference
all the difference
in my life.

Tags: Breast Cancer

Kindled by a lot of dissapointment over staff at the Cancer Care Center. Jagged triangles, warm and cold colors, shimmering soft silk. Still the underlaying vibrating soul visible. Weired enough, working on this soothes my soul, and expresses my hurt feelings at the same time.

      Dupioni silk, hand-dyed cottons (Judy Robertson)
      hand-dyed perle cotton (Elin Noble)

Tags: Breast Cancer

…went well, according to the doctor. Although, here again, the histology report sometime this week will tell the full story, hopefully no bad surprises.
My body clearly tells me to stay in my bed for healing. The incisions are quite big and a rather annoying drain tube is still attached. Also, the necessary painkillers prevent my brain from any thinking in a straight line… and they make me very tired, – kind of a weird feeling not being in full posession of all your senses. – Am I writing also weird stuff?

Short Addendum: yesterday, I got a call from the hospital; the histology report came back to my favor. Out of 12 lymph knots, only one had also cancer cells. THANK YOU, - now, that makes me smile!

Tags: Breast Cancer

… and I’ll need a lot HAPPY. The last months where just awash: first in backbreaking work to get our house on the market, after my visit in at the IQF/Houston, were I had 2 quilts juried in, we moved and I finally got my studio(!), but here comes the downside: I also got diagnosed with breast cancer.
Since August, I’ve barely touched my sewing machine, just now after Christmas, I tried to sew something, – quite awkward.

…I’ll need a lot of happy. Friday, I’ll have a second surgery. Soon, chemo will start and my hair is going to fall out. It’s winter, I’ve to make me hats.
Before all that happens, I have to get back to my beloved sewing, I hope it’ll become my rock to hold on for sanity.

To everybody who is concerned about me, I’ll keep my trail posted.
Happy New Year!

Tags: Breast Cancer